Is "she" safe to take out?

Ladylike Help 7

"If he visits crossdressing social evenings, should I go?"

Sadly, lots of crossdressers stay "in the closet", and this makes for a lonely life for both of you. Many do manage to meet one or two close TV friends. But it is much better if he can get out and about.

It is not illegal to wear the clothes of the opposite sex anywhere in public, nor even to go in the "wrong" loo. It's best that he uses the ladies' when dressed, and when you are with him you can help him go when the coast is reasonably clear. If either of you feel embarrassed, many of the best meetings are in private homes or community facilities.

There is especially nothing to fear about him going along to a social meeting of trannies. Great care is taken to make these safe and welcoming places. There is no pressure for him to crossdress, or to give his real name (most assume a female name). Remember everyone there was a first-timer once, and they will help his confidence. For those that have been before, it is just like any other ladies' night at a private house or pub / club.

Many wives and girlfriends do also go, if only out of curiosity. They often meet other women there to talk to, and gain much useful information and support. You may see a few appallingly dressed men, some of whom have complex problems far worse than your partner's. Most though will be happy, attractive, passable as females, and really lovely people to know. There are often changing facilities there if he is worried about travelling "dressed". A one-to-one meeting beforehand, or a reassuring 'phone line for either of you, will also be available.

"Dare I go out with him in public?"

It will depend how confident both of you are, how convincing he looks, and where you go. Take your time to plan this the first time, so both of you are not stressed out. It gets a lot easier with practice. Normally it's no problem. Probably the most important thing is to minimise him speaking around other people in public. That is often the giveaway. Because you are together, you can do the talking. If he wears appropriate clothes for the time of day and place, then for most purposes that will be OK. I suggest a country walk to start with. If you go to a restaurant, book in advance and ask (the first time) if it's all right that your partner will be crossdressed. Most won't want to turn away business, or be seen not to welcome diversity these days, so long as you tell them that he will dress as an ordinary female and not outrageously. You'll probably get a better table! If they do object, take your custom elsewhere.

A trip to the cinema or theatre is good, because most of the time people will be watching the film or play, and even in a busy foyer everyone is far too worried about being late / where their partner has gone / what happened to the tickets / struggling to get a drink, etcetera, to look at him for more than a few seconds. Men are not very observant anyway. Some women and the occasional man may "read" him, but nearly everyone would embarrass themselves to say anything, especially due to the risk of being wrong! [After all, we don't tell an over made-up or ugly woman stranger what we think of her to her face, do we!] Similarly, any tiny minority who might wrongly feel threatened by his appearance ( if they realise you are with him at all!) will be reassured by your presence that he is harmless, so they feel safe.

"If most TVs aren't gay, why do some meet in gay pubs?"

The gay community often do advertise that they are "tranny friendly"; because they may face prejudice themselves, and so tend to be more sympathetic. Gays are also ten times more numerous than TVs, so have more meeting places. They won't fancy straight TVs because they are not "butch" enough for them. (Estimates vary, but roughly 1 in 10 of the male population or more are gay; 1 in 100 is a TV - though that's still a quarter of a million in the UK alone - and so only 1 in 1000 is a gay TV).

Also a man would often rather travel out of his local area because he may be afraid of being recognised in his own community. (Whereas women can often tell the sex of someone unconvincing in a dress, it would be most unlikely for anyone whom either of you know to recognise your partner, as he will look so different!)

"Where do they meet, anyway?"

It is difficult to keep up to date with this, but please see the links on my main page. Ultimately, if he looks good of course, you can go out together in public, and then he may not need to spend so much time in the company of pretend ladies.

I'm worried that he looks too trashy."

If he has the wrong image then change it! Restrain his temptation to try to look like a film star aged 18 (even if he is 18)! Show him how to sit with legs demurely closed, how to walk and move more daintily without looking 'camp', and feminine hair removal.

Choose an appropriate hair colour/length for his face. (It probably has to be a wig, as highlights or long hair are probably out. This is an important opportunity for you to regain control, and to ensure a natural look). Suggest he goes to a TV dressing service to help him get it right, There is also plenty of dressing advice for him on LivinDoll, Joy's website.

Tell him to practice privately speaking softly and gently, maybe a semitone higher, rather than in a silly squeaky voice. Men use volume and vocal attack for emphasis, while ladies use pitch shifts. (Be aware of how he coughs and laughs too, this is quite difficult without a speech therapist's help.) Changing his voice subtly is very useful for him to pass easily in public; but of course it's not essential. He needn't put on a voice for you, friends or other trannies.

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