Can I trust him?

Ladylike Help 4

"How could he hide this from me? I can't believe him any more."

Any man will put a lot of effort into making his career a success, or any hobby. Unlike a woman however, he will leave the most important thing in his life to chance, his relationship with you. He won't realise you truly mean more to him than winning a fortune, because men think differently. He knows your initial reaction to shock might be very strong rejection. Like any man, his instinct tells him to protect you (and maybe the kids), from the truth. And equally he must protect himself from his fear of losing you. I think some of us proper ladies find it difficult to accept a tranny or TV partner, even though we may secretly rather like the fact that we always have been able to talk to him openly and trustingly, like he was a close girlfriend rather than a guy. Don't spoil it girls - forgiveness begins with understanding!

"I want a man, not some pathetic wet sissy."

If you were brought up solely with boys, you may have more knowledge of motor bikes and football than traditional "female" roles such as cooking or childcare. Do you feel guilty about that? No. Why if a boy wants to play with Barbie dolls like his sisters, or plays dressing-up games, do some people condemn it? Better surely than learning to be a bully, with toy guns and tanks.

There is no word for the opposite of the tomboy, she who is often encouraged in these days of equality. He exists everywhere and is looked down on as sissy or weak, when actually it takes great courage for him to say, "Yes, I like wearing dresses. So what!" I have heard many times from TVs whose wives have all but abandoned them just for saying something like that. It's really sad, for we all remain the same person inside, whatever we wear.

"Yes, but isn't this going to wreck our lives?"

We are conditioned to punish ourselves by guilt when we don't conform. You don't need to impose unhealthy guilt on him, he will be a harsh enough judge on himself.

Think about the amount of time a transvestite can spend actually dressed. He will only be able to dress occasionally, when it is socially acceptable. He isn't going to be on the front page of the newspaper, he isn't going to molest the children, he won't take a handbag to work, and he certainly doesn't want to be laughed at. He can't have people thinking that he's weird (because he wants respect and/or advancement). Is it really such a big deal if once or twice a week he dresses up in private, or goes to the occasional social gathering with similar "big girls' blouses"?

Consider this. "Society finds it more acceptable for a man to dress as a woman, than for a masculine man to wear a skirt". It is true, and we can actually benefit from and enhance society's comparative approval.

"I'm confused now, I don't know what I feel."

"Give him a great big kiss. Tell him that you love him, tell him that you care, tell him that you'll always be there!" Be gentle with him, he will certainly be as embarrassed as you to begin with. Give it time and you will both gain confidence, sharing dressing to look your best, and pleasure and joy in your relationship. And maybe, just maybe, you could consider buying him really girly presents sometimes, and think of helping him.

It isn't simple, and solutions don't happen overnight. I also know that if you want, both of you can soon sing like Shania Twain, "Man, I feel like a woman!" and laugh together about it!

**Please** donate £5 by credit or debit card, to help Chloe's unpaid voluntary counselling work with crossdressers and their partners (secure transaction):